my journey has been so painful. The day really did not start out well. The doctors came into my room and they looked at me. Snd they talked. Each word was a sword, ripping my heart. But still, they talked. And talked. And talked.
They told me that it was my fault. That imwasent eating becouse indid not want to. I wanted to scream. I wanted to yell. But my lips stayed tighly shut. My mouth stayed still. When i looked at food, i sometimes thought there was nothing i had ever wanted more in the world.to hear people blame me for something i had no control over was painful. They told me i have an eating disorder. That i would be sent away to learn how to eat agian. Words so painful, so unfair,so untrue.
a body that woundt obey me. Noone left to belive me. For the first time in my life, i truly felt that i could not overcome my challenge. It was just too much for me to handle. I felt compleley alone and aboanded. The world had betrayed me and left me. But i held on to the the one thing i knew was always there would always love me. G-D.
And then-just hours before peasch (passover) the time of freedoom for the jewish people, Hashem set me free. They gave me a med that was supposed to allow me to eat. So i took one careful sip. And another. And then another.
exhilaration flowed through ,my viens, giving my heart life again. It was at that moment that i felt freedom more tangible then i had ever felt it before.my body was mine agian. I had control-i could eat. I could drink. The miracle had occured. Hours before the holiday of freedoom, G-D taught me that we to can be free. From a place so dark and helpless. When the entire world has turned agianst us. When our own bodies conspire agianst us.
They stood with broken bodies,mangled by years of back breaking slavery.their minds were not their own,forced for so many years by their captors to think only of their labor. Behind them stood a enmrous,raging army. Well trained fierce soldiers on horseback , people trained since young to be the most advanced horsebackriders of the era. An army of people so strong,so ruthless calling for their blood.
And before them lay the mighty waters.there was nowhere to go. No place to hide.their certain death surronded them on every side.they were trapped.not a place left to go. Their lives flashed before them. They were so,so broken.and at that momment at the darkest point of despair-one man jumped.into the waves. Into the water. Into death. Into G-Ds embrace.
And it was at that momment, when there was nowhere to turn to and noone to trust and he thrust his life into G-Ds hand. And right there and then-G-D spilt the sea. Water turned to land. Reality dissolved, and the world was transformed. On that day, hopelessness and despair faded. There was only hope. And only redemption.
When life seems to have pushed us to the drakest,deepest hole of despair- there is noone and nothing left-we can only thrust ourselves into G-Ds hands- and only He can split the sea. Water turns to land. And at that momment, we transcend reality.
have you ever been pushed to a point of total dispear, and then G-D split your sea?tell me about it.